Hello, I’m Kodak.
In casual Japanese, you may hear someone say:
それはへこむわ。
Sore wa hekomu wa.
That would really get me down.
or:
今日のテスト、全然できなくてへこんだ。
Kyō no tesuto, zenzen dekinakute hekonda.
I felt crushed because I could not do the test at all.
へこむ (hekomu) literally means that a surface becomes dented or pushed inward. In modern casual speech, it also means that a person’s confidence, pride, or mood takes a psychological dent.
① what へこむ (hekomu) means in Japanese slang
② how the emotional meaning comes from a physical dent
③ whether へこむ is really a new slang word
④ how to pronounce, write, and conjugate it
⑤ when native speakers use it naturally
⑥ how it differs from 落ち込む, がっかりする, くじける, 悲しい, and しょんぼりする
⑦ natural examples and anime-style dialogue
Today’s Japanese expression is へこむ (hekomu)!
Its literal meaning is “to become dented or pushed inward.”
In casual emotional language, the same image is applied to the mind:
A criticism, mistake, rejection, or embarrassing experience hits you
↓
Your confidence becomes dented
↓
へこむ = to feel discouraged, crushed, or down
What Does へこむ (Hekomu) Mean in Japanese Slang?
In casual Japanese, へこむ means that someone becomes discouraged, loses confidence, or feels emotionally low after receiving some kind of psychological blow.
⇒ to feel discouraged
⇒ to feel crushed
⇒ to feel down
⇒ to take a psychological hit
⇒ to lose confidence
⇒ to be disheartened
上司に注意されてへこんだ。
Jōshi ni chūi sarete hekonda.
I felt discouraged after my boss corrected me.
好きな人に振られて、かなりへこんでいる。
Suki na hito ni furarete, kanari hekonde iru.
I am feeling pretty crushed after being rejected by the person I like.
みんなの前で間違えて、ちょっとへこんだ。
Minna no mae de machigaete, chotto hekonda.
I felt a little embarrassed and discouraged after making a mistake in front of everyone.
The Literal Meaning of へこむ: “To Become Dented”
Before understanding the slang meaning, it helps to learn the physical meaning.
へこむ describes a surface that becomes lower than the surrounding area because it is pressed, struck, damaged, or otherwise pushed inward.
⇒ become dented
⇒ cave in
⇒ become concave
⇒ be pushed inward
⇒ become lower than the surrounding surface
事故で車のドアがへこんだ。
Jiko de kuruma no doa ga hekonda.
The car door was dented in the accident.
このボールは指で押すとへこむ。
Kono bōru wa yubi de osu to hekomu.
This ball dents when you press it with your finger.
箱の角がへこんでいる。
Hako no kado ga hekonde iru.
The corner of the box is dented.
The Core Image: Your Confidence Gets a Dent
The emotional use of へこむ is easy to understand when you imagine the mind as the surface of a metal object.
Core image of へこむ
A surface is originally smooth
↓
Something hits or presses it
↓
The surface becomes dented
↓
Physical へこむ
Your confidence or pride is originally stable
↓
A criticism, failure, rejection, or embarrassment hits you
↓
Your confidence takes a dent
↓
Emotional へこむ
Is へこむ Really Slang?
The label slang is useful when talking about the modern emotional use because へこむ sounds casual and conversational. However, the figurative meaning is not simply a brand-new internet or anime expression.
Japanese dictionaries record an older meaning of へこむ as:
to become troubled or embarrassed
to submit or give in
to weaken or lose heart
Nihon Kokugo Daijiten includes figurative examples from the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries. In other words, the movement from a physical dent to a weakened mental state has a long history.
Pronunciation and Writing of へこむ
Hiragana: へこむ
Romaji: hekomu
Mora: へ・こ・む (3 morae)
Word type: intransitive godan verb ending in む
Pronounce it in three even rhythmic units: he-ko-mu. The initial Japanese へ is closer to “heh” than the English word “he.”
Should You Write 凹む or へこむ?
Both forms are possible, but へこむ in hiragana is very common, especially for the casual emotional meaning.
Makes the physical image of a dent visually clear.
Common in dictionaries, explanations, and descriptions of damaged objects.へこむ
Easy to read and common in casual writing, messages, subtitles, social media, and emotional usage.
The reading へこむ is outside the main official list of readings shown for everyday school use, so dictionaries may mark it with a symbol indicating a nonstandard or special reading. This does not mean the word is incorrect.
What Does the Kanji 凹 Mean?
凹 is a pictographic character shaped like a surface that is lower in the middle.
凸 = convex / sticking out
凹凸 (ōtotsu / dekoboko) = unevenness; bumps and dents
How to Conjugate へこむ
へこむ is a godan verb ending in む. Its past and te-forms use んだ / んで.
Polite: へこみます — become dented / feel discouraged
Negative: へこまない — do not become discouraged
Past: へこんだ — became dented / felt discouraged
Te-form: へこんで — dented / discouraged, and…
State: へこんでいる — is dented / is feeling discouraged
Conditional: へこめば — if it dents / if someone becomes discouraged
Causative: へこませる — dent something / discourage someone
へこんだ: “I Felt Crushed”
あの一言にはへこんだ。
Ano hitokoto ni wa hekonda.
That one comment really got me down.
へこんでいる: “I’m Feeling Down”
彼は試合に負けてへこんでいる。
Kare wa shiai ni makete hekonde iru.
He is feeling down after losing the match.
へこまない: “Not Be Discouraged”
何を言われてもへこまない。
Nani o iwarete mo hekomanaide.
I do not let anything people say discourage me.
へこませる: “Dent” or “Discourage”
ぶつけて車のドアをへこませた。
Butsukete kuruma no doa o hekomaseta.
I hit something and dented the car door.
厳しい言葉で彼をへこませてしまった。
Kibishii kotoba de kare o hekomasete shimatta.
My harsh words discouraged him.
When Do Japanese People Use へこむ?
The emotional meaning is especially natural when a clear event delivers a blow to someone’s confidence, pride, expectations, or motivation.
・making an embarrassing mistake
・being criticized or scolded
・being rejected in love
・receiving a low test score
・losing a competition
・having one’s work rejected
・being compared unfavorably with someone
・reading a hurtful comment
・discovering that one’s confidence was misplaced
SNSで悪いコメントを見てへこんだ。
Esu-enuesu de warui komento o mite hekonda.
I felt discouraged after reading a negative comment on social media.
自信作が選ばれなくてへこんでいる。
Jishinsaku ga erabarenakute hekonde iru.
I am feeling crushed because the work I was proud of was not selected.
一回失敗したくらいでへこむなよ。
Ikkai shippai shita kurai de hekomu na yo.
Don’t let one failure get you down.
Common Sentence Patterns with へこむ
1. ～でへこむ: Feel Discouraged Because of Something
テストの結果でへこんだ。
Tesuto no kekka de hekonda.
I felt down because of my test result.
仕事のミスで少しへこんでいる。
Shigoto no misu de sukoshi hekonde iru.
I am a little discouraged because of a mistake at work.
2. ～てへこむ: An Event Causes Discouragement
友達に笑われてへこんだ。
Tomodachi ni warawarete hekonda.
I felt crushed after my friend laughed at me.
オーディションに落ちてへこんでいる。
Ōdishon ni ochite hekonde iru.
I am down after failing the audition.
3. ～にはへこむ: “That Really Gets Me Down”
The particle combination には can emphasize a specific blow.
あの評価にはさすがにへこんだ。
Ano hyōka ni wa sasuga ni hekonda.
Even I was really discouraged by that evaluation.
4. ちょっと / かなり / 地味にへこむ
かなりへこむ — feel pretty crushed
本気でへこむ — be genuinely hurt or discouraged
地味にへこむ — be quietly or unexpectedly bothered
普通にへこむ — honestly / naturally feel discouraged
名前を間違えられると地味にへこむ。
Namae o machigaerareru to jimi ni hekomu.
It quietly gets me down when people get my name wrong.
地味にへこむ is especially common in casual online conversation. It describes something that is not dramatic but still causes a small, lingering dent in one’s feelings.
へこむ vs 落ち込む: What Is the Difference?
落ち込む (ochikomu) is the closest common synonym. Both can mean to feel down or discouraged.
⇒ casual and conversational
⇒ core image: confidence or pride receives a dent
⇒ often linked to a specific hit, criticism, mistake, rejection, or embarrassment
⇒ frequently feels personal and immediate落ち込む
⇒ standard and broader
⇒ core image: mood, energy, confidence, or performance falls into a lower state
⇒ can describe a deeper or continuing emotional slump
⇒ also used formally for sales, grades, demand, and the economy
人前で言い間違えて、ちょっとへこんだ。
Hitomae de iimachigaete, chotto hekonda.
I felt a little embarrassed and discouraged after misspeaking in public.
第一志望の大学に落ちて、しばらく落ち込んでいた。
Daiichishibō no daigaku ni ochite, shibaraku ochikonde ita.
I felt down for a while after failing to get into my first-choice university.
For a full explanation of 落ち込む, see What Does 落ち込む (Ochikomu) Mean in Japanese?
へこむ vs がっかりする: Discouraged or Disappointed?
がっかりする (gakkari suru) focuses on an expectation not being met.
⇒ The result was worse than expected.
⇒ focus: disappointmentへこむ
⇒ The result damaged your confidence or emotional energy.
⇒ focus: the psychological dent
楽しみにしていたイベントが中止になって、がっかりした。
Tanoshimi ni shite ita ibento ga chūshi ni natte, gakkari shita.
I was disappointed that the event I had been looking forward to was canceled.
自分だけ不合格で、本気でへこんだ。
Jibun dake fugōkaku de, honki de hekonda.
I was genuinely crushed because I was the only one who failed.
You can experience both:
⇒ がっかりした
↓
The result damaged your confidence
⇒ へこんだ
へこむ vs くじける: Take a Hit or Lose the Will to Continue?
挫ける (kujikeru) means that one’s energy, determination, or fighting spirit weakens.
⇒ feel emotionally dented after a blow
⇒ does not necessarily mean giving upくじける
⇒ one’s will or determination weakens
⇒ may imply being close to giving up or losing the ability to continue
批判されて少しへこんだ。
Hihan sarete sukoshi hekonda.
The criticism discouraged me a little.
何度失敗しても、心がくじけなかった。
Nando shippai shite mo, kokoro ga kujikenakatta.
No matter how many times I failed, I did not lose heart.
へこむ vs 悲しい: Discouraged or Sad?
悲しい (kanashii) directly describes sorrow or emotional pain. へこむ describes the effect of an emotional blow on confidence, pride, or motivation.
⇒ I feel sorrow.
⇒ common for loss, death, painful news, separation, and heartbreaking eventsへこむ
⇒ My confidence or emotional energy has taken a hit.
⇒ common for mistakes, criticism, rejection, low scores, and embarrassment
大切な人と別れて悲しい。
Taisetsu na hito to wakarete kanashii.
I am sad after separating from someone important.
告白して断られてへこんだ。
Kokuhaku shite kotowararete hekonda.
I felt crushed after confessing my feelings and being rejected.
A breakup or rejection can naturally be both 悲しい and へこむ. The first names the sorrow; the second describes the blow to one’s confidence and mood.
へこむ vs しょんぼりする: Inner Damage or Visible Dejection?
しょんぼりする (shonbori suru) describes looking visibly dejected, lonely, or low-spirited.
⇒ the internal psychological impactしょんぼりする
⇒ the visibly drooping or dejected appearance
結果を見てへこんだ。
Kekka o mite hekonda.
The result really discouraged me.
叱られた子どもがしょんぼりしている。
Shikarareta kodomo ga shonbori shite iru.
The child who was scolded looks dejected.
へこむ and Physical Loss: Money, Games, and Scores
Dictionaries also record へこむ for becoming lower than a standard amount or suffering a financial loss.
I lost money on stocks.麻雀で一人だけへこんでいる。
Only one person is down in the mahjong game.
今月は収支がへこんだ。
This month’s balance fell into the negative.
This usage is much less universal than the physical and emotional meanings. The surrounding context usually makes the financial or numerical interpretation clear.
How へこむ Is Used in Anime, Manga, and Casual Speech
Because it is conversational and visual, emotional へこむ appears frequently in anime, manga, dramas, online comments, and everyday speech.
Sonna ni hekomu na yo.
Don’t be so discouraged.それ言われると普通にへこむ。
Sore iwareru to futsū ni hekomu.
Honestly, it hurts when you say that.
今日の結果にはマジでへこんだ。
Kyō no kekka ni wa maji de hekonda.
Today’s result seriously crushed me.
まだへこんでるの？
Mada hekonderu no?
Are you still feeling down?
別にへこんでないし。
Betsu ni hekondenai shi.
It’s not like I’m discouraged or anything.
地味にへこむからやめて。
Jimi ni hekomu kara yamete.
Stop it—it quietly gets to me.
一回負けたくらいでへこんでんじゃねえ！
Ikkai maketa kurai de hekonden ja nē!
Don’t get discouraged just because you lost once!
It is the casual contraction of へこんでいる:
へこんでいる → へこんでる
is feeling discouraged → feeling down
A Natural Dialogue Using へこむ
Nanka genki nai ne.
You seem kind of down.B: 今日、プレゼンで大きなミスをしたんだ。
Kyō, purezen de ōkina misu o shita n da.
I made a big mistake during my presentation today.
A: それでへこんでるの？
Sore de hekonderu no?
Is that why you’re feeling discouraged?
B: うん。みんなの前だったから、かなりへこんだ。
Un. Minna no mae datta kara, kanari hekonda.
Yeah. It happened in front of everyone, so it really crushed me.
A: 誰にでも失敗はあるよ。そんなにへこまないで。
Dare ni demo shippai wa aru yo. Sonna ni hekomanaide.
Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Can You Use へこむ in Formal Situations?
The physical meaning is neutral enough for ordinary descriptions:
製品の表面がへこんでいます。
Seihin no hyōmen ga hekonde imasu.
The surface of the product is dented.
However, the emotional meaning is casual. In formal business writing, more precise expressions may be preferable.
評価が低くてへこみました。
I was discouraged by the low evaluation.Neutral:
評価が低く、落ち込みました。
I felt down because of the low evaluation.
More formal:
評価が低く、落胆しました。
I was disappointed by the low evaluation.
Objective:
評価結果を重く受け止めています。
I take the evaluation result seriously.
When speaking casually with friendly coworkers, へこみました can still sound natural. The issue is tone rather than grammatical correctness.
Does へこむ Mean Clinical Depression?
へこんでいる normally describes being discouraged or emotionally hurt after a particular event. It does not by itself indicate the medical condition depression.
⇒ feeling discouraged or emotionally dented
⇒ often casual and connected with a specific setback落ち込んでいる
⇒ feeling down; broader and sometimes more serious depending on context
うつ病
⇒ depression as a medical diagnosis
In English, translating へこむ as “be depressed” can sound too strong or medical. Expressions such as feel discouraged, feel crushed, feel down, take a hit, or lose confidence are often more accurate.
Natural Example Sentences with へこむ
テストで30点を取ってへこんだ。
Tesuto de sanjū-ten o totte hekonda.
I felt crushed after getting 30 points on the test.
一生懸命作った料理を残されて、ちょっとへこんだ。
Isshōkenmei tsukutta ryōri o nokosarete, chotto hekonda.
I was a little hurt when the food I worked hard to make was left uneaten.
自分の名前を忘れられて地味にへこんだ。
Jibun no namae o wasurerarete jimi ni hekonda.
It quietly hurt that they forgot my name.
落選のメールを見て、本気でへこんだ。
Rakusenn no mēru o mite, honki de hekonda.
I was genuinely crushed when I saw the rejection email.
へこんでいる時に友達が電話をくれた。
Hekonde iru toki ni tomodachi ga denwa o kureta.
My friend called me when I was feeling down.
何を言われてもへこまない強さがほしい。
Nani o iwarete mo hekomanaide tsuyosa ga hoshii.
I want the strength not to be discouraged by what people say.
一度断られたくらいでへこむ必要はない。
Ichido kotowarareta kurai de hekomu hitsuyō wa nai.
There is no need to get discouraged just because you were rejected once.
彼はへこんでも、すぐに立ち直る。
Kare wa hekonde mo, sugu ni tachinaoru.
Even when he gets discouraged, he recovers quickly.
ボールがへこんでいて、うまく弾まない。
Bōru ga hekonde ite, umaku hazumanai.
The ball is dented, so it does not bounce properly.
机をぶつけて、壁をへこませてしまった。
Tsukue o butsukete, kabe o hekomasete shimatta.
I hit the desk against the wall and dented it.
失敗してもへこみすぎず、次に生かそう。
Shippai shite mo hekomisugizu, tsugi ni ikasō.
Even if we fail, let’s not get too discouraged and use it next time.
昨日はへこんでいたけど、もう大丈夫。
Kinō wa hekonde ita kedo, mō daijōbu.
I was feeling down yesterday, but I am okay now.
Useful Phrases and Collocations
かなりへこむ — feel pretty crushed
本気でへこむ — be genuinely hurt
地味にへこむ — be quietly or unexpectedly bothered
普通にへこむ — honestly feel discouraged
めちゃくちゃへこむ — feel extremely crushed
へこんでいる — be feeling down
へこまないで — don’t be discouraged
へこむ必要はない — there is no need to feel down
へこんだ顔 — a dejected face / a sunken face, depending on context
へこんだ気持ち — a discouraged mood
へこんだ部分 — a dented or sunken part
車がへこむ — a car becomes dented
壁をへこませる — dent a wall
Common Mistakes with へこむ
Mistake 1: Translating the Slang Literally as “My Heart Is Dented”
The dent image explains the meaning, but natural English usually uses:
I was crushed.
That really got me down.
That hurt my confidence.
That was a blow.
Mistake 2: Assuming へこむ Means Only “Feel Down”
The original physical meaning remains common. Check whether the subject is a person’s mood, a car door, a ball, a box, the ground, or an amount of money.
Mistake 3: Using It in Very Formal Writing
The emotional meaning can sound too conversational in reports, official statements, and formal correspondence. Consider 落ち込む, 落胆する, or a more objective description.
Mistake 4: Assuming It Is Always Mild
Its casual tone can make it sound lighter than 落ち込む, but adverbs such as かなり and めちゃくちゃ can describe a serious emotional blow.
Mistake 5: Confusing へこんだ with へこんでいる
became dented / felt discouragedへこんでいる
is dented / is currently feeling discouraged
Mistake 6: Using へこむ as a Transitive Verb
へこむ is intransitive. To say that someone dents an object or discourages another person, use へこませる.
The door became dented.○ ドアをへこませた。
I dented the door.
FAQ About へこむ (Hekomu)
What does hekomu mean in Japanese slang?
In casual Japanese, へこむ means to feel discouraged, crushed, or down after a criticism, failure, rejection, embarrassment, or another psychological blow.
What is the literal meaning of hekomu?
The literal meaning is for a surface to become dented, concave, or pushed inward.
How are the physical and emotional meanings connected?
The emotional meaning treats confidence or pride like a surface that becomes dented after being hit.
How do you write hekomu in Japanese?
It can be written 凹む in kanji or へこむ in hiragana. Hiragana is especially common for the casual emotional meaning.
Is hekomu a slang word?
The modern emotional use is casual and can be described as slang, but figurative meanings such as being defeated, troubled, or losing heart are recorded in Japanese texts from the late eighteenth century.
Is hekomu a godan verb?
Yes. It is a godan verb ending in む. Its past form is へこんだ, and its te-form is へこんで.
What does hekonde iru mean?
へこんでいる can mean that something is dented or that someone is currently feeling discouraged. Context determines the meaning.
What is the difference between hekomu and ochikomu?
へこむ is more casual and pictures confidence taking a dent after a specific blow. 落ち込む is broader and can describe a deeper or continuing drop in mood, performance, sales, or another level.
Is hekomu always less serious than ochikomu?
No. It often sounds lighter because it is casual, but expressions such as めちゃくちゃへこんだ can describe a serious emotional impact.
What is the difference between hekomu and gakkari suru?
がっかりする focuses on disappointment when an expectation is not met. へこむ focuses on the damage that the result causes to confidence or emotional energy.
What is the difference between hekomu and kanashii?
悲しい means to feel sorrow. へこむ means that confidence, pride, motivation, or mood has taken a psychological hit.
How do you say “Don’t be discouraged” using hekomu?
Say へこまないで (hekomanaide). A casual masculine form is へこむなよ.
Does hekomu mean clinical depression?
No. It normally describes ordinary discouragement after a setback and does not by itself mean the medical condition うつ病.
Summary: The Slang Meaning of へこむ
へこむ means that a surface becomes dented, concave, or pushed inward.● Emotional / slang meaning
It means to feel discouraged, crushed, or down after a psychological blow.
● Core image
A criticism, failure, rejection, or embarrassment hits your confidence and leaves a dent.
● Writing and pronunciation
Kanji: 凹む
Hiragana: へこむ
Romaji: hekomu
Mora: へ・こ・む
● Grammar
へこむ is an intransitive godan verb.
へこんだ = felt discouraged / became dented
へこんでいる = is feeling discouraged / is dented
へこまないで = don’t be discouraged
へこませる = dent something / discourage someone
● Register
The emotional meaning is casual and conversational. It is common in speech, messages, anime, manga, and social media.
● Similar expressions
落ち込む = mood or confidence falls into a lower state
がっかりする = be disappointed by an unmet expectation
くじける = lose determination or heart
悲しい = feel sorrow
しょんぼりする = look visibly dejected
Imagine a smooth car door.
Something hits it
↓
The door gets a dent
↓
凹む
Now imagine the same blow hitting your confidence
↓
Your confidence gets a psychological dent
↓
へこむ = to feel discouraged or crushed
That one image connects the literal and slang meanings!
References
- Kotobank: 凹む — physical, numerical, and figurative meanings, including historical examples of becoming troubled, submitting, or losing heart.
- Kanjipedia: 凹む — meanings including becoming physically dented, losing heart, and suffering a loss.
- Kanjipedia: 凹 — readings, meaning, and pictographic formation of the kanji.
- Kotobank: 落ち込む.
- Kotobank: がっかり.
- Kotobank: 挫ける.
- Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare: 気分が落ち込む — distinction between ordinary mood changes and persistent signs that may require support.