Hello, I’m Kodak.
English learners can often add one word—“please”—to make a request sound polite.
Japanese does not work in exactly the same way.
The expression changes according to:
・whether you are ordering a service
・how close you are to the listener
・how much effort the request requires
・whether you are giving an instruction or asking a favor
・whether the listener can comfortably say no
お願いします ⇒ I place this request or service in your hands.
ください ⇒ Please give me this, or please do this action.
ちょうだい ⇒ Give/do this for me in a close relationship.
頼む ⇒ I rely on you and entrust this need or task to you.
Ordering or requesting a service
コーヒーをお願いします。
I’d like a coffee, please.
Asking for an item
水をください。
Please give me some water.
Asking for a clear action
少し待ってください。
Please wait a moment.
Making the action request softer
少し待ってもらえますか。
Could you wait a moment?
Requesting something from a close person
水ちょうだい。
Give me some water.
Entrusting something to a close person
あとは頼む。
I’ll leave the rest to you.
① the four main ways to ask for something in Japanese
② how to choose between onegaishimasu, kudasai, choudai, and tanomu
③ how to ask for an item, action, service, permission, or favor
④ how to make ～てください softer
⑤ how to ask friends, strangers, staff, teachers, and supervisors
⑥ useful opening phrases that make requests more considerate
⑦ common mistakes and natural example conversations
The 4 Main Japanese Request Expressions
Polite request, order, service, choice, accepted offer, or entrusted matter
ください (kudasai)
Polite request for an item or a clearly stated action
ちょうだい (choudai)
Casual request to receive an item or action from someone close
頼む (tanomu)
Casual, direct request that relies on or entrusts something to the listener
Onegaishimasu: Placing a Request in Someone’s Hands
お願いします is a polite and flexible expression for requests, orders, services, arrangements, and accepted offers.
コーヒーをお願いします。
Kōhī o onegaishimasu.
I’d like a coffee, please.
カードでお願いします。
Kādo de onegaishimasu.
By card, please.
「荷物を持ちましょうか？」
「はい、お願いします。」
“Nimotsu o mochimashō ka?”
“Hai, onegaishimasu.”
“Shall I carry your bag?”
“Yes, please.”
You are saying, “Yes, I place that offered action in your hands.”
Read the full guide: Onegaishimasu Meaning, Pronunciation, and Usage
Kudasai: Asking for an Item or a Clear Action
ください has two essential beginner patterns.
Please give me [noun].
[verb て-form] + ください
Please do [action].
水をください。
Mizu o kudasai.
Please give me some water.
ここに名前を書いてください。
Koko ni namae o kaite kudasai.
Please write your name here.
However, ～てください clearly tells the listener what action to perform, so it may feel like an instruction in some relationships.
Read the full guide: Kudasai Meaning and Kudasai vs Onegaishimasu
Choudai: A Casual Request Inside a Close Relationship
ちょうだい is used casually with family, close friends, partners, or children.
Give me [noun]. / Can I have [noun]?
[verb て-form] + ちょうだい
Please do [action] for me.
水ちょうだい。
Mizu chōdai.
Give me some water.
あとで写真を送ってちょうだい。
Ato de shashin o okutte chōdai.
Send me the photo later, please.
Use ください or お願いします.
Read the full guide: Choudai Meaning and Casual Usage
Tanomu: Relying on Someone and Entrusting a Task
頼む is a casual, direct verb meaning to ask, request, entrust, count on, order, or call for.
この仕事、頼む。
Kono shigoto, tanomu.
I’m leaving this job to you.
明日の試合、頼むよ。
Ashita no shiai, tanomu yo.
I’m counting on you in tomorrow’s game.
レストランでカレーを頼んだ。
Resutoran de karē o tanonda.
I ordered curry at the restaurant.
Speak to the worker with コーヒーをお願いします or コーヒーをください.
Read the full guide: Tanomu Meaning and Tanomu Yo
How to Choose the Right Request Expression
⇒ Noun + をください / お願いします
Do you want someone to perform a clear action?
⇒ Verb て-form + ください
Are you ordering a service or selecting an option?
⇒ お願いします
Are you accepting an offer?
⇒ お願いします
Are you asking a close person for an item or action?
⇒ ちょうだい / ～てくれる？ / ～てもらえる？
Are you entrusting something to a close person or teammate?
⇒ 頼む / 頼むよ
Is the request difficult, formal, or directed to a superior?
⇒ ～てもらえますか / ～ていただけますか / ～ていただけないでしょうか
Items and orders ⇒ お願いします or ください
Clear actions ⇒ ～てください
Difficult favors ⇒ turn the request into a question
Use ちょうだい and 頼む only after you understand the relationship and tone.
How to Ask for an Item in Japanese
Noun + をください
Please give me some water.
切符を一枚ください。
One ticket, please.
領収書をください。
Please give me a receipt.
Noun + をお願いします
Water, please.
窓側の席をお願いします。
A window seat, please.
領収書をお願いします。
A receipt, please.
ください directly asks to receive the item.
お願いします often feels like placing an order or service request.
Your tone usually matters more than a tiny difference between the two.
Casual Item Requests
Give me water.
そのペン、くれる？
Will you give me that pen?
一口もらってもいい？
Can I have a bite?
～くれる？ and ～もらってもいい？ often give a close friend more room to answer than a direct ちょうだい.
How to Ask Someone to Do Something
Verb て-Form + Kudasai
Please wait a moment.
ここに名前を書いてください。
Please write your name here.
もう一度説明してください。
Please explain it one more time.
This form is polite, clear, and essential. It is especially natural for instructions, directions, rules, and simple requests.
～てください uses polite language, but it still presents the desired action directly.
For a favor requiring effort, a question form is often more considerate.
How to Make a Request More Polite
Japanese request forms often become softer when they ask about the listener’s ability or willingness instead of directly stating the action.
～てくださいませんか
もう一度説明してくださいませんか。
Mō ichido setsumei shite kudasaimasen ka.
Could you please explain it one more time?
This is more request-like than the direct 説明してください.
～てもらえますか
少し手伝ってもらえますか。
Sukoshi tetsudatte moraemasu ka.
Could you help me for a moment?
This asks whether the speaker can receive the listener’s helpful action.
～てくれますか
この荷物を持ってくれますか。
Kono nimotsu o motte kuremasu ka.
Will you carry this bag for me?
This is polite but can feel more personal and direct than ～てもらえますか.
～ていただけますか
こちらにご記入いただけますか。
Kochira ni gokinyū itadakemasu ka.
Could you please fill this in?
This humble form is common in formal, workplace, and customer-service settings.
～ていただけないでしょうか
来週までお待ちいただけないでしょうか。
Raishū made omachi itadakenai deshō ka.
Would it be possible for you to wait until next week?
This is highly polite and gives the listener linguistic space to decline.
見て。
Look. — casual
↓
見てちょうだい。
Look for me. — familiar and stylistically marked
↓
見てください。
Please look. — polite and direct
↓
見てもらえますか。
Could you look? — softer question
↓
見ていただけますか。
Could you please look? — formal/humble
↓
見ていただけないでしょうか。
Would it be possible for you to look? — highly considerate/formal
Choose a level that matches the relationship, situation, and size of the favor.
How to Begin a Request Politely
The sentence before the request often matters as much as the request ending.
Excuse me, but…
ちょっとお願いがあるんですが、…
I have a small favor to ask…
お忙しいところすみませんが、…
I’m sorry to bother you when you are busy, but…
申し訳ありませんが、…
I’m sorry, but…
もしよければ、…
If it is okay with you…
可能でしたら、…
If possible…
お手数ですが、…
I’m sorry for the trouble, but…
すみませんが、写真を撮ってもらえますか。
Sumimasen ga, shashin o totte moraemasu ka.
Excuse me, but could you take a photo for me?
お忙しいところ申し訳ありませんが、この書類を確認していただけますか。
Oisogashii tokoro mōshiwake arimasen ga, kono shorui o kakunin shite itadakemasu ka.
I’m sorry to bother you while you are busy, but could you check this document?
Do not use it to pretend that a very large favor requires no effort.
How to Ask for Something at a Restaurant or Shop
I’ll have this, please.
これをください。
Please give me this. / I’ll take this.
コーヒーを一つお願いします。
One coffee, please.
袋をください。
A bag, please.
別々にお願いします。
Separately, please.
カードでお願いします。
By card, please.
Use お願いします or ください as your customer-language default.
How to Ask a Stranger for Help
Excuse me, could you take a photo for me?
すみません、駅までの行き方を教えてください。
Excuse me, please tell me how to get to the station.
すみません、ちょっと手伝っていただけますか。
Excuse me, could you help me for a moment?
For a simple information request, ～てください is often fine. For a favor involving time or physical effort, ～てもらえますか or ～ていただけますか gives the listener more room.
How to Ask a Friend Casually
Look at this.
これ見てくれる？
Will you look at this for me?
これ見てもらえる？
Could you look at this for me?
あとで送ってちょうだい。
Send it later, please.
ちょっと頼みがあるんだけど。
I have a small favor to ask.
この件、頼むよ。
I’m counting on you for this.
They often sound naturally conversational without the childlike, parental, or theatrical flavor that ～てちょうだい can carry.
How to Ask a Teacher or Supervisor Politely
Teacher, could you explain it one more time?
お忙しいところ申し訳ありませんが、こちらをご確認いただけますか。
I’m sorry to bother you while you are busy, but could you check this?
可能でしたら、金曜日までにご回答いただけないでしょうか。
If possible, would you be able to reply by Friday?
For a superior, 確認していただけますか or ご確認をお願いします is usually more appropriate.
How to Ask for Permission in Japanese
Requesting permission is different from asking the listener to perform an action.
May I do…?
～てもよろしいですか
May I do…? — more formal
～させてください
Please let me do…
～させていただけますか
Would you allow me to do…? — formal/humble
ここに座ってもいいですか。
Koko ni suwatte mo ii desu ka.
May I sit here?
一つ質問させてください。
Hitotsu shitsumon sasete kudasai.
Please allow me to ask one question.
座ってもいいですか asks whether you may sit.
How to Ask Someone Not to Do Something
～ないでください
ここで写真を撮らないでください。
Koko de shashin o toranaide kudasai.
Please do not take photos here.
～ないでもらえますか
もう少し静かにしてもらえますか。
Mō sukoshi shizuka ni shite moraemasu ka.
Could you be a little quieter?
～ないでいただけますか
こちらには触れないでいただけますか。
Kochira ni wa furenaide itadakemasu ka.
Could you please refrain from touching this?
The wording and the grammar both contribute to politeness.
How to Respond to a Request
Accepting
Yes, understood.
もちろんです。
Of course.
いいですよ。
Sure.
任せてください。
Leave it to me.
大丈夫です。
That’s fine / I can do it.
Declining Gently
I’m sorry, that may be difficult.
申し訳ありませんが、今回はできません。
I’m sorry, but I cannot do it this time.
その時間は予定が入っています。
I already have plans at that time.
別の日でもいいですか。
Would another day be okay?
One Request in Different Politeness Levels
Imagine that you want someone to check a document.
Look at this.
⇒ Very casual.
これ見てくれる？
Will you look at this for me?
⇒ Casual question among close people.
この書類を見てください。
Please look at this document.
⇒ Polite and direct.
この書類を見てもらえますか。
Could you look at this document?
⇒ Polite and softer.
この書類を確認していただけますか。
Could you please check this document?
⇒ Formal and considerate.
お忙しいところ申し訳ありませんが、お手すきの際にこちらの書類をご確認いただけないでしょうか。
I’m sorry to bother you while you are busy, but would it be possible for you to check this document when you have time?
⇒ Highly considerate and formal.
Use enough politeness to respect the listener without creating unnecessary distance.
Useful Request Templates for Beginners
___をお願いします。
I’d like ___, please.
Asking for an item:
___をください。
Please give me ___.
Simple action request:
___てください。
Please ___.
Softer action request:
___てもらえますか。
Could you ___?
Formal action request:
___ていただけますか。
Could you please ___?
Casual request to a friend:
___てくれる？
Will you ___ for me?
Asking for a casual item:
___ちょうだい。
Give me ___.
Entrusting a task casually:
___、頼むよ。
I’m counting on you for ___.
Common Beginner Mistakes
Mistake 1: Translating Every English “Please” as Kudasai
コーヒーをお願いします。
Action:
待ってください。
Accepting an offer:
お願いします。
Emotional plea:
お願い！
Entrusting a close person:
頼むよ。
Mistake 2: Attaching Onegaishimasu Directly to a Te-form
○ 見てください。
Please look.
○ 確認をお願いします。
Please check it.
⇒ The action becomes a noun.
Mistake 3: Assuming Onegaishimasu Is Always More Polite Than Kudasai
The expressions use different grammar. In many service situations, お願いします sounds soft and natural, but ください is also polite and is required for basic Vてください requests.
Mistake 4: Using Choudai with Strangers
ちょうだい assumes closeness and can sound childish, overly familiar, or commanding.
Mistake 5: Using Tanomu Yo with a Superior
頼むよ is casual and can place emotional pressure on the listener. Use a polite request form with a teacher, customer, or supervisor.
Mistake 6: Thinking a Grammatically Polite Sentence Is Automatically Considerate
A difficult request needs context, an apology or soft introduction, and room for the listener to decline.
明日手伝ってください。
Please help tomorrow.
More considerate:
急なお願いで申し訳ないんですが、もし都合がよければ、明日少し手伝ってもらえますか。
I’m sorry for the sudden request, but if it is convenient, could you help for a little while tomorrow?
Mistake 7: Using Overly Formal Japanese with Close Friends
見ていただけないでしょうか may sound jokingly distant if you only want your best friend to look at a photo.
Natural Request Conversations
At a Café
Are you ready to order?
Learner: はい、アイスコーヒーを一つお願いします。
Yes, one iced coffee, please.
Asking a Stranger for a Photo
Excuse me, could you take a photo for me?
Stranger: いいですよ。
Sure.
Asking a Friend
I have a small favor to ask.
Friend: 何？
What?
Learner: 明日、この本を返してくれる？
Will you return this book tomorrow?
At Work
I’m sorry to bother you while you are busy. Could you check this document?
Supervisor: わかりました。午後に確認します。
Certainly. I’ll check it this afternoon.
Entrusting a Teammate
I’m leaving the final part to you. I’m counting on you.
Teammate: 任せて。
Leave it to me.
Family Conversation
Mom, give me some juice.
Mother: はい。でも一杯だけね。
Okay, but only one glass.
Which Individual Article Should You Read?
⇒ Onegaishimasu Meaning, Pronunciation, and Usage
You want to ask for an item or use Vてください correctly
⇒ Kudasai Meaning and Kudasai vs Onegaishimasu
You want to understand casual “give me” and ～てちょうだい
⇒ Choudai Meaning and Casual Japanese Usage
You want to understand 頼む, 頼むよ, 頼むから, or あとは頼んだ
⇒ Tanomu Meaning and Tanomu Yo
FAQ About Making Requests in Japanese
What is the safest way to say “please” in Japanese?
There is no universal translation. Use お願いします for orders, services, choices, and accepted offers. Use ～てください for clear action requests, and use a question such as ～てもらえますか for a softer favor.
How do you politely ask for something in Japanese?
For an item, use Nをください or Nをお願いします. For an action, use Vてください, or soften it with Vてもらえますか or Vていただけますか.
What is the difference between onegaishimasu and kudasai?
お願いします presents an order, service, choice, arrangement, accepted offer, or entrusted request. ください directly asks for a stated item or follows a verb’s て-form to request an action.
Is kudasai rude?
No. ください is a standard polite request form. However, Vてください can feel like an instruction when the requested action is demanding or the listener has higher status.
How can I make te kudasai more polite?
Use a question such as Vてくださいませんか, Vてもらえますか, or Vていただけますか. A soft introduction such as すみませんが or お忙しいところ申し訳ありませんが also makes the request more considerate.
What is a casual way to ask a friend?
Common options include the verb’s て-form alone, Vてくれる？, Vてもらえる？, and—in suitable close relationships—Vてちょうだい.
When should I use choudai?
Use ちょうだい with family, close friends, partners, or children when its intimate, playful, childlike, parental, or stylistically marked tone fits. Avoid it as a default with strangers and staff.
What does tanomu yo mean in a request?
頼むよ can mean “Please,” “I’m counting on you,” “Make sure you do it,” or an exasperated “Come on,” depending on context and intonation.
How do you ask permission in Japanese?
Use Vてもいいですか for “May I…?” or Vさせてください for “Please let me….”
How do you say “please don’t” in Japanese?
Use Vないでください. A softer request can use Vないでもらえますか or Vないでいただけますか.
How do you begin a request politely?
Useful openings include すみませんが, ちょっとお願いがあるんですが, お忙しいところ申し訳ありませんが, もしよければ, and お手数ですが.
Should I always use the most formal request?
No. Choose a form that matches the relationship, situation, and size of the favor. Extremely formal language can sound distant or unnatural with close friends.
Summary: How to Ask for Something in Japanese
お願いします
● Asking for an item
Noun + をください
Noun + をお願いします
● Asking for a clear action
Verb て-form + ください
● Making an action request softer
Verb て-form + もらえますか
● Making a formal request
Verb て-form + いただけますか
● Casual request to someone close
Noun + ちょうだい
Verb て-form + くれる？ / ちょうだい
● Entrusting a close person
頼む / 頼むよ
● Polite request opening
すみませんが…
お忙しいところ申し訳ありませんが…
● Most important principle
Japanese politeness depends not only on the final phrase, but also on the relationship, size of the favor, surrounding explanation, and freedom given to the listener.
Nをお願いします for orders and services.
Nをください for an item.
Vてください for a clear action.
When the favor is larger or the listener has higher status, turn the action into a polite question.
References
- The Japan Foundation, Minna no Kyozai: Vてください — explains Vてください as a polite instruction/request and Vてくださいませんか as a polite favor request.
- The Japan Foundation, Minna no Kyozai: Vていただけませんか — explains humble request forms used toward a person of higher status.
- The Japan Foundation, Minna no Kyozai: Vてもらいます — explains receiving an action performed in response to the speaker’s request.
- The Japan Foundation, Japanese-Language Education Bulletin: Considerate Expressions — discusses how an appropriate request depends on the listener and situation, not grammar alone.
- The Japan Foundation, Minna no Kyozai: Vさせてください — explains requesting permission with the causative request form.