Hello, I’m Kodak.
If you watch Japanese romance anime or study confession phrases, you may have heard:
付き合ってください。
Tsukiatte kudasai.
Please go out with me.
In a romantic confession, this phrase asks someone to start a relationship and become your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. However, the verb 付き合う (tsukiau) also has several non-romantic meanings, so context is essential.
① what 付き合ってください means
② how it is formed from 付き合う + て + ください
③ how to pronounce and write it
④ how to use it in a romantic confession
⑤ its non-romantic meanings
⑥ how it differs from デートしませんか, 好きです, and similar phrases
⑦ natural ways to accept or reject the confession
In a romantic context, it means “Please go out with me” or “Please be in a relationship with me.”
Its core image is “asking the other person to enter and continue a relationship together.”
What Does 付き合ってください (Tsukiatte Kudasai) Mean?
The most famous translation is “Please go out with me.” In a confession scene, it means that the speaker wants the listener to begin a romantic relationship.
Romantic context:
⇒ Please go out with me.
⇒ Please be my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.
⇒ Please start a relationship with me.
Non-romantic context:
⇒ Please come with me.
⇒ Please keep me company.
⇒ Please join me or help me with this for a while.
好きです。付き合ってください。
Suki desu. Tsukiatte kudasai.
I like you. Please go out with me.
僕と付き合ってください。
Boku to tsukiatte kudasai.
Please go out with me.
買い物に付き合ってください。
Kaimono ni tsukiatte kudasai.
Please come shopping with me.
The Grammar of 付き合ってください
The phrase can be divided into three parts.
to associate with, accompany, deal with, or date someone
付き合って (tsukiatte)
the te-form of 付き合う
ください (kudasai)
please do; a request following the te-form of a verb
to date / accompany / associate
↓
付き合って
te-form
↓
付き合ってください
please date/accompany me
How Does 付き合う Become 付き合って?
付き合う is a godan verb ending in う. Verbs ending in う, つ, or る commonly form the te-form with って.
待つ → 待って
帰る → 帰って
付き合う → 付き合って
The small っ is important. It creates a one-mora pause before て.
What Does ～てください Mean?
The pattern V-てください asks or instructs someone to perform an action.
Please wait.
教えてください。
Please tell me / teach me.
付き合ってください。
Please date/accompany me.
～てください is polite, but it is still a direct request. In a confession, this directness is often intentional because the speaker is clearly asking for an answer.
How to Pronounce Tsukiatte Kudasai
Hiragana: つきあってください
Romaji: tsukiatte kudasai
Mora: つ・き・あ・っ・て・く・だ・さ・い (9 morae)
Pay special attention to these two points:
つ・き・あ — tsu-ki-a
2. The small っ creates a pause
つきあ・っ・て — tsukia-[pause]-te
3. ください ends with two morae さ・い
Do not compress it into one English-style sound.
How to Write Tsukiatte Kudasai
All hiragana: つきあってください
Katakana: ツキアッテクダサイ
Romaji: tsukiatte kudasai
The usual spelling is 付き合ってください. The kanji 付 and 合 are used in the verb 付き合う, while the inflection and request expression are written in hiragana.
The katakana form may appear in stylized designs, manga sound presentation, song titles, or dramatic text, but it is not normal everyday spelling.
The Three Main Meanings of 付き合う
1. To Date Someone Romantically
In a romantic context, 付き合う means to be in a romantic relationship.
二人は付き合っている。
Futari wa tsukiatte iru.
The two are dating.
彼女と三年付き合っています。
Kanojo to san-nen tsukiatte imasu.
I have been dating her for three years.
2. To Associate or Maintain a Relationship
The verb can also describe social relationships with friends, neighbors, coworkers, companies, or groups.
彼とは長い付き合いです。
Kare to wa nagai tsukiai desu.
I have known him for a long time / We have a long-standing relationship.
近所の人と親しく付き合う。
Kinjo no hito to shitashiku tsukiau.
To have a friendly relationship with one’s neighbors.
3. To Accompany Someone or Join an Activity
付き合う can mean going along with someone’s activity, request, practice, errand, or social obligation.
買い物に付き合って。
Kaimono ni tsukiatte.
Come shopping with me.
練習に付き合ってください。
Renshū ni tsukiatte kudasai.
Please practice with me.
一杯付き合ってくれない？
Ippai tsukiatte kurenai?
Will you join me for a drink?
How to Use 付き合ってください in a Romantic Confession
A common confession structure is:
ずっと前から好きでした。付き合ってください。
Zutto mae kara suki deshita. Tsukiatte kudasai.
I have liked you for a long time. Please go out with me.
あなたのことが好きです。僕と付き合ってください。
Anata no koto ga suki desu. Boku to tsukiatte kudasai.
I like you. Please go out with me.
もっとあなたのことを知りたいです。よかったら、付き合ってください。
Motto anata no koto o shiritai desu. Yokattara, tsukiatte kudasai.
I want to get to know you better. If you feel the same, please go out with me.
Does 付き合ってください Mean “Go on a Date with Me”?
Not exactly. English “go out with me” can mean either one date or a continuing relationship. In Japanese, 付き合ってください usually asks to begin a romantic relationship when used as a confession.
Would you like to go on a date?
⇒ Invitation to a date or outing.
付き合ってください。
Please go out with me.
⇒ Request to become a couple / begin dating as a relationship.
付き合ってください vs 好きです
I like you / I have feelings for you.
⇒ Reveals the speaker’s feelings.
付き合ってください。
Please go out with me.
⇒ Requests a relationship.
好きです。付き合ってください。
I like you. Please go out with me.
⇒ Reveals the feeling and clearly asks for a relationship.
好きです alone can function as a confession, but it does not always explicitly ask the other person to become a partner. Adding 付き合ってください makes the desired next step clear.
付き合ってください vs 付き合ってくれませんか
Both can ask someone to begin a relationship, but their style differs.
| Expression | Literal Function | Typical Nuance |
|---|---|---|
| 付き合ってください | Please date me | Clear, sincere, direct |
| 付き合ってくれませんか | Would you not date me? | Softer, more tentative request |
| 付き合ってもらえませんか | Could I receive the favor of you dating me? | Grammatically softer, sometimes formal or wordy in romance |
よかったら、僕と付き合ってくれませんか。
Yokattara, boku to tsukiatte kuremasen ka.
If you would like, would you go out with me?
A softer grammar form does not remove the emotional pressure of a confession. Tone, privacy, timing, and respect for the answer matter more than choosing the “perfect” sentence.
付き合ってください vs 付き合ってほしい
Please go out with me.
⇒ A direct request addressed to the listener.
付き合ってほしい。
I want you to go out with me.
⇒ Directly states the speaker’s desire.
付き合ってほしい can sound intimate and honest, but also forceful depending on tone. A common natural sentence is:
これからは恋人として付き合ってほしい。
Kore kara wa koibito to shite tsukiatte hoshii.
From now on, I want us to be together as a couple.
付き合ってください vs 付き合おう
Please go out with me.
⇒ Polite and conventional confession.
付き合おう。
Let’s go out / Let’s be together.
⇒ Casual and confident; suitable when mutual feelings are already fairly clear.
お互い好きなんだし、付き合おうよ。
Otagai suki nan da shi, tsukiaō yo.
We like each other, so let’s go out.
Natural Non-Romantic Uses of 付き合ってください
The phrase can be completely non-romantic when the activity is stated.
Please come shopping with me.
新しい曲の練習に付き合ってください。
Please practice the new song with me.
少し相談に付き合ってください。
Please listen to me / help me think through something for a while.
もう少しだけ話に付き合ってください。
Please keep talking with me a little longer.
一杯だけ付き合ってください。
Please join me for just one drink.
Here, the particle に often marks the activity that the listener is being asked to join.
買い物に付き合う
join someone for shopping
練習に付き合う
join/help someone with practice
相談に付き合う
listen and help with a discussion
How to Accept 付き合ってください
はい、お願いします
はい、お願いします。
Hai, onegai shimasu.
Yes, I would like that.
This can be a polite and slightly formal-sounding acceptance in a confession scene.
私も好きです
私も好きです。よろしくお願いします。
Watashi mo suki desu. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu.
I like you too. I look forward to being with you.
付き合いましょう
うん、付き合おう。
Un, tsukiaō.
Yeah, let’s go out.
うれしいです
うれしいです。私も同じ気持ちです。
Ureshii desu. Watashi mo onaji kimochi desu.
I’m happy. I feel the same way.
How to Reject 付き合ってください Politely
A rejection should be clear enough to avoid false hope while remaining respectful.
Gomen nasai. Kimochi ni wa kotaeraremasen.
I’m sorry. I cannot return your feelings.
ごめんなさい。友達のままでいたいです。
Gomen nasai. Tomodachi no mama de itai desu.
I’m sorry. I would like us to remain friends.
気持ちはうれしいですが、付き合うことはできません。
Kimochi wa ureshii desu ga, tsukiau koto wa dekimasen.
I appreciate your feelings, but I cannot date you.
今は恋愛を考えていません。
Ima wa ren’ai o kangaete imasen.
I am not looking for a relationship right now.
Example Confession Dialogues
A: ずっと前から好きでした。よかったら、僕と付き合ってください。
Zutto mae kara suki deshita. Yokattara, boku to tsukiatte kudasai.
I have liked you for a long time. If you feel the same, please go out with me.
B: 私も好きです。よろしくお願いします。
Watashi mo suki desu. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu.
I like you too. I would be happy to.
A: あなたのことが好きです。付き合ってください。
Anata no koto ga suki desu. Tsukiatte kudasai.
I like you. Please go out with me.
B: ありがとう。少し考える時間をもらってもいい？
Arigatō. Sukoshi kangaeru jikan o moratte mo ii?
Thank you. Can I have a little time to think?
A: 明日、プレゼントを買いに行くんだけど、付き合ってくれない？
Ashita, purezento o kai ni iku n da kedo, tsukiatte kurenai?
I’m going to buy a present tomorrow. Will you come with me?
B: いいよ。何時に行く？
Ii yo. Nanji ni iku?
Sure. What time are we going?
付き合ってください in Anime and Manga
In school romance stories, the phrase often appears at the climax of a 告白 (kokuhaku), a direct confession of romantic feelings.
Senpai no koto ga suki desu. Tsukiatte kudasai!
I like you, Senpai. Please go out with me!
ずっと言えなかったけど、俺と付き合ってほしい。
Zutto ienakatta kedo, ore to tsukiatte hoshii.
I could never say it before, but I want you to go out with me.
返事は今じゃなくていい。考えておいて。
Henji wa ima janakute ii. Kangaete oite.
You do not have to answer now. Think about it.
Common Mistakes with 付き合ってください
Mistake 1: Translating It Only as “Come with Me”
In a romantic confession, translating it merely as “accompany me” misses the intended meaning: the speaker is asking to begin a relationship.
Mistake 2: Translating It Only as “Date Me Once”
The phrase usually asks for a continuing romantic relationship, not just a single date.
Mistake 3: Forgetting the Small っ
○ つきあってください
The small っ is part of the te-form and must be pronounced as a brief pause.
Mistake 4: Using を After the Person
○ 私と付き合ってください。
Please go out with me.
The person with whom one dates or associates is commonly marked by と.
Mistake 5: Assuming Polite Grammar Removes Pressure
ください is polite, but a romantic confession is still a significant request. Avoid asking repeatedly after a rejection or demanding an immediate answer.
Mistake 6: Using It for a Casual Invitation
○ 今度、コーヒーでも飲みに行きませんか？
Please become my romantic partner.
○ 付き合ってください。
FAQ About 付き合ってください
What does tsukiatte kudasai mean in English?
In a romantic confession, 付き合ってください means “Please go out with me” or “Please be in a relationship with me.” In other contexts, it can mean “Please accompany me” or “Please join me.”
Is tsukiatte kudasai romantic?
It is romantic when the speaker is confessing feelings or asking to become a couple. It is non-romantic when an activity such as shopping, practice, drinking, or conversation is stated.
How do you write tsukiatte kudasai in Japanese?
The normal spelling is 付き合ってください. In hiragana, it is つきあってください.
How do you pronounce tsukiatte kudasai?
Pronounce it in nine morae: つ・き・あ・っ・て・く・だ・さ・い. The small っ creates a brief pause before て.
What is the difference between tsukiatte kudasai and suki desu?
好きです reveals romantic feelings. 付き合ってください asks the other person to begin a relationship. They are commonly used together.
What is the difference between tsukiatte kudasai and date shimasen ka?
デートしませんか invites someone on a date. 付き合ってください usually asks them to become your romantic partner.
Can a woman say tsukiatte kudasai?
Yes. The phrase is not restricted by gender. Anyone can use it to ask someone to begin a relationship.
Can you say tsukiatte kudasai to a friend?
Yes, but the meaning depends on context. Without a stated activity, it may sound romantic. With an activity, such as 買い物に付き合ってください, it means “Please come shopping with me.”
How do you accept tsukiatte kudasai?
Possible replies include 私も好きです。よろしくお願いします, はい、お願いします, and casual うん、付き合おう.
How do you reject tsukiatte kudasai politely?
You can say ごめんなさい。気持ちには応えられません, meaning “I’m sorry. I cannot return your feelings.”
Is tsukiatte kudasai formal?
It uses polite request grammar, but it is a personal and direct confession rather than formal business language.
Does tsukiau mean marriage?
No. 付き合う means to date or be in a relationship in this context. It is not a marriage proposal.
Summary: How to Use 付き合ってください
付き合ってください means “Please go out with me” or “Please start a relationship with me.”
● Non-romantic meaning
It can also mean “Please accompany me,” “Keep me company,” or “Join me.”
● Structure
付き合う + te-form 付き合って + request expression ください
● Writing
Kanji and hiragana: 付き合ってください
Hiragana: つきあってください
Romaji: tsukiatte kudasai
● Common confession
好きです。付き合ってください。
I like you. Please go out with me.
● Compared with デートしませんか
デートしませんか invites someone on a date.
付き合ってください asks to begin a relationship.
● Important nuance
The phrase is polite but direct. Use it sincerely, choose an appropriate setting, and respect the other person’s answer.
付き合う ⇒ stay alongside someone in a relationship or activity
～てください ⇒ please do
付き合ってください ⇒ “Please enter this relationship or shared activity with me.”
References
- Kotobank: 付き合う — meanings including forming social relationships, dating romantically, and accompanying someone in an activity.
- Kotobank: 付き合い — historical and modern meanings of association and shared action.
- The Japan Foundation, Marugoto Grammar and Sentence Pattern List — lists V-てください as a request/instruction pattern.
- The Japan Foundation, Irodori Elementary 1 Lesson 9 — compares V-てください with the more polite V-てもらえませんか request pattern.
- Japan Public Relations Association: ください／下さい — explains the editorial distinction between the lexical verb and auxiliary request usage.